I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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