So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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