winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The beer is more important than you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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