Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize