Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
