He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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