yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
