you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
