If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
