Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
