They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
