Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
