I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
