Whod you bang
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
