So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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