don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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