she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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