Texts From Last Night

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  (302): View more from Delaware

  remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block

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  (302): remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block http://tfl.nu/55sp
  Replies (14) Good night (614) Bad night (2030)
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  (209): View more from California

  I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.

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  (209): I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own. http://tfl.nu/zoa7
  Replies (72) Good night (927) Bad night (3387)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit

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  (803): Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit http://tfl.nu/192j
  Replies (27) Good night (5096) Bad night (998)
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  (276): View more from Virginia

  I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem

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  (276): I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem http://tfl.nu/0t83
  Replies (6) Good night (3682) Bad night (1201)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  OMG THAT WAS YOU?!

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  (207): Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building. (603): OMG THAT WAS YOU?! http://tfl.nu/kd7y
  Replies (43) Good night (9668) Bad night (1616)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.

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  (630): Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends. http://tfl.nu/htzg
  Replies (4) Good night (1418) Bad night (2982)
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  (628): View more from California

  That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.

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  (628): That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM. http://tfl.nu/93q7
  Replies (56) Good night (7145) Bad night (1019)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"

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  (217): His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances" http://tfl.nu/5wgw
  Replies (11) Good night (1568) Bad night (793)
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  (530): View more from California

  i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.

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  (530): i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina. http://tfl.nu/en62
  Replies (8) Good night (1273) Bad night (563)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.

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  (520): I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break. http://tfl.nu/xprx
  Replies (7) Good night (702) Bad night (534)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again

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  (228): I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again http://tfl.nu/bu4d
  Replies (2) Good night (877) Bad night (391)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....

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  (847): Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships.... http://tfl.nu/9uw5
  Replies (1) Good night (568) Bad night (583)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.

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  (586): Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word. http://tfl.nu/jq00
  Replies (5) Good night (666) Bad night (374)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead

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  (973): I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead http://tfl.nu/zr0a
  Replies (0) Good night (462) Bad night (273)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.

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  (630): Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life. http://tfl.nu/e0bg
  Replies (0) Good night (416) Bad night (234)

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