Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon

  (1-631): View more from New York

  been there done that

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  (631): i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon (1-631): been there done that http://tfl.nu/mjyl
  Replies (13) Good night (2357) Bad night (790)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her

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  (608): Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her http://tfl.nu/en5u
  Replies (48) Good night (2712) Bad night (3363)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv

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  (410): i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv http://tfl.nu/8yma
  Replies (17) Good night (4422) Bad night (812)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.

  (1-706): View more from Georgia

  I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.

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  (706): I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song. (1-706): I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina. http://tfl.nu/b2qf
  Replies (81) Good night (2838) Bad night (6245)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  i can respect that.

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  (404): on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you. (1-404): i can respect that. http://tfl.nu/fvjd
  Replies (14) Good night (4951) Bad night (788)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.

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  (817): She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that. http://tfl.nu/vcnu
  Replies (11) Good night (1047) Bad night (3447)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Not even the dog will look at me anymore.

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  (301): Not even the dog will look at me anymore. http://tfl.nu/6y6q
  Replies (15) Good night (1105) Bad night (4542)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.

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  (765): I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot. http://tfl.nu/xw8q
  Replies (12) Good night (3030) Bad night (964)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.

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  (717): whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/6izn
  Replies (4) Good night (869) Bad night (2052)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them

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  (260): People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them http://tfl.nu/5lb9
  Replies (4) Good night (1722) Bad night (798)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?

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  (410): the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right? http://tfl.nu/bfic
  Replies (1) Good night (677) Bad night (352)
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  (646): View more from New York

  I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!

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  (646): I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me! http://tfl.nu/zxm1
  Replies (6) Good night (527) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (830): View more from Texas

  Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?

  (210): View more from Texas

  Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine

  (830): View more from Texas

  drunken problem solving at its finest

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  (830): Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra? (210): Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine (830): drunken problem solving at its finest http://tfl.nu/2c5e
  Replies (2) Good night (1116) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married

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  (409): He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married http://tfl.nu/v15x
  Replies (5) Good night (272) Bad night (710)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.

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  (212): Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days. http://tfl.nu/xg4a
  Replies (6) Good night (400) Bad night (163)

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