Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
17 People Who Prepared For Spring Break The Right Way
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore