.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.