Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...

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(651): View more from Minnesota

How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?

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21 Sketchy Drug Deals That Are Scary AF
Read it at the TFLN blog
(303): View more from Colorado

you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..

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(714): View more from California

I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?

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(585): View more from New York

You get home okay?

(1-585): View more from New York

I'm pantless and in bed

(585): View more from New York

That doesn't mean you're at home.

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(510): View more from California

I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.

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