I want to walk on stilts...naked
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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