we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
She announced her abortion via fbk
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!