Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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