You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
