What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
