Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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