obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
