I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
