I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
