I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
