I want to stick my p in your. b.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
