Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
