i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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