The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
