Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
