so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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