At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
