I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize