Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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