I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
