i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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