Duck Duck Cougar?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Randomize
