Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
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Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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