i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
