I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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