I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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