You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Text me some of your sweat
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