i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
