Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
sarcasm needs its own font
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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