I just pynch a tree in the face
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
