Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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