i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
