im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
