i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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