After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
