I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
