u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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