Someone shit on the floor
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
