If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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