trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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