it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
accomplished twins. life is a go
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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