We need to start having sex underwater more often.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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