My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
