She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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