..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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