but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Randomize
