I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Randomize