he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
