At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
