Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
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I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize