Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
